Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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