You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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