I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize