I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize