I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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