i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Sorry about my life...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize