I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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