P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize