Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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