Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize