She is in my trunk
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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