also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
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