Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize