Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
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Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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