Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
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I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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