As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize