i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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