I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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