on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
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I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
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I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize