I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
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when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
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future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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