What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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