Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize