My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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