If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize