the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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