Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize