I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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