Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize