Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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