i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize