I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize