I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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