what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize