After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize