it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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