i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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