Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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