Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize