Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize