I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
should my penis look like a turkey
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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