my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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