nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize