it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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