I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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