Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize