Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
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Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
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I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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