so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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