I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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