adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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