Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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